


Day 12 - Apocalypse AU/Guilt/Loss

by lake_writes



Series: OuMonth [12]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hope's Peak Academy (Dangan Ronpa), Angst, Blood, Character Death(s), Crying, Cuddling, DR3 Anime, F/M, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Kissing, Kokichi Ouma Month, Sad Akamatsu Kaede, Sad Oma Kokichi, light fluff, no beta we die like men, there's not much blood mentioned but there is an instance so beware
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:08:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24676672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lake_writes/pseuds/lake_writes
Summary: Kokichi goes to visit two old friends before returning to hiding with his beloved.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Oma Kokichi, Momota Kaito & Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi & DICE, Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi
Series: OuMonth [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769182
Comments: 2
Kudos: 52
Collections: Kokichi Ouma Month





	Day 12 - Apocalypse AU/Guilt/Loss

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to Day 12 of Ouma Month! Please read this with caution as it does reference two character deaths quite a bit! I really liked writing this one, so I hope you all enjoy it!

The world had become a barren wasteland, scarred permanently by the apocalypse that had once been raging around them, those stupid Despairs wiping out everyone that they possibly could. Kokichi lifted his scarf to cover his nose and mouth, squinting his eyes as the wind kicked up the loose soil and sand that dusted the ground. He stared, almost apprehensively, up at the remains of the building that had once stood tall above the rest of the city, like a beacon of hope. Kokichi scoffed at the thought. Hope. Yeah, right, what a joke.

Hope was something that he had once believed in, something that he clung to, as if he were a child clinging to their mother. Hope was what had started this whole mess. Kokichi gritted his teeth as his glare sharpened. Hope’s Peak Academy. This place… He hated it. He hated it for so many reasons, he couldn’t even care to list them all.

The first and foremost reason, he supposed, was that they took something from him. They took something important, that he cherished with all his heart. Well, to be completely honest, they had taken a lot from everyone, most of those being swept under the rug and labelled as mysterious deaths and disappearances.

...Not Shuichi. Shuichi had been a result of Hope’s Peak’s ignorance. Shuichi had been a result of those airheads believing that the school would be an impenetrable force, that there was no way that the Despairs had gotten inside. Oh, how wrong they were.

His feet, by now, had carried him past where the gates once stood, his shoes crunching against the pebbles and glass that littered the ground. He rounded the corner of the large school, gazing out at the flat expanse where the track one stood, with students gathered in the middle, milling about with their friends, or Ultimates practicing their talents on the asphalt. It was almost as if he could hear them all now, as if they were right there. As if nothing had changed.

Kokichi shook his head. He couldn’t afford to get distracted now. He had come here with a mission, and he fully intended to complete it. After all, she hadn’t been able to come do it, not in her current state. He was here for the both of them. He glanced around, making sure none of those Monokuma-headed creeps were lurking around, before he dashed for the shed on the far side of the field.

He couldn’t help the sigh of relief that escaped him as his fingers brushed the cool metal of the handle, wincing as the old hinges squealed and groaned in protest as he pulled on the door, leaving it just wide enough so he’d be able to slip inside and pull it back undetected by any outsiders. He fumbled in his pockets for the box of matches Kaede had made him carry as the door swung shut, trapping him in the darkness. He never thought he’d be more grateful that he listened to someone in his life, he mused as he struck the match against the side of the box.

He watched the tiny flame flicker to life on the short stick held precariously between his fingers before he began searching for the candles that were strewn about in a manner that was haphazard, and yet strategic all at the same time. He could smell the wicks beginning to burn as they were lit, one by one, until the small space around him was bathed in the gentle light

Closing his eyes, he drew one last breath in through his nose before he turned to face the sight he was dreading.

The floorboards of the shed had all been torn up toward the back, done by the bloodied hands of students who had worked to drag the bodies of their friends to a place where they could enjoy their final rest as peacefully as they could, away from the chaos of the outside world. The earth was churned, not having been able to be smoothed out by any force, two mounds marked by rocks that Kokichi himself had found outside. They had been part of the wall of the school at some point, but now, they were grave markers, reminders of what this horrid place had wrought.

Kokichi knelt down, slowly, quietly, setting the bag he carried on his back to the side. “Hey, Shuichi,” he spoke, softly, addressing one stone before the other. “And you, Momota-chan.” The names made him taste bile, and he grimaced as they settled heavily on his tongue, dropping from his lips as if they were pebbles. “I hope you both are doing well.”

He wrung his hands, almost nervously, in his lap as he glanced around, trying to look at everything but the stones. He didn’t need to cry, not here, not now. “...The hideout is still intact, so… Kaede and I have a safe place to lay low, for now. Some of DICE is still alive, believe it or not.” He laughed drily. “Not that you two would. I lied a whole lot, after all.”

Kokichi paused, his breath shuddering as he struggled to choke back the tears that were blurring his vision. “...Kaede misses you both, a lot. A-And I do too. Especially you, Shuichi. God, I’ve missed you from the start.” He pressed his lips into a thin line as he glared heavily at the stone, the kanji for the detective’s name scratched haphazardly into the rough surface. Kokichi’s own handiwork, he recalled with a sad smile. “It was incredibly stupid of you two to sacrifice yourselves like that. I told you that hanging out with an idiot for so long would start to affect you, Shuichi…”

_ He could remember the day the gates broke, and the Reserve Course students had flooded the building that housed the main course. Kaito and Shuichi had stayed back, ordering Kokichi and Kaede to help direct the flow of their classmates outside and to safety. They had scattered after that, with Kokichi staying behind with the Ultimate Pianist to wait for the other two to join them. Staying in a group as they were would have made them sitting ducks. _

_ They both lay in wait as the hours ticked by, making Kokichi’s skin crawl with apprehension. Something wasn’t right. They would have been out by now, wouldn’t they? He had decided to go and look for them, promising Kaede that he’d be back within the hour. If he wasn’t, she was to leave without him, find shelter and wait for everything to blow over. _

_ He hadn’t expected to be there for Shuichi’s final moments. He hadn’t expected to watch the light die from his beloved’s eyes, the crimson of his blood staining his hand as it flowed from the wound in his abdomen that he was so desperately trying to cover. _

_ Together, he and Kaede had managed to bury the bodies of their friends, after having located Kaito’s body tucked away in a classroom, where he had been cornered. He had gone out fighting, if his bloodied knuckles were any indication. They both had. _

Kokichi shook his head, jolting himself back to the present. How long had he been sitting here, spacing out like that? Quite a while, if the way his knees ached were any indication. Kaede would be worrying about him, wondering where he was. He hoped desperately that she hadn’t decided to go out and look for him. Her knee wasn’t completely healed yet, she wouldn’t be able to run if she ended up in some sort of trouble. He bid goodbye to the graves as he shouldered his backpack again, slipping out through the doors and sprinting all the way home.

He always ran like hell after leaving the shed. The wind whipping his face always dried his tears, and it gave him an excuse for his labored breathing, other than the fact that he had been unable to keep his usual facade in place. Kaede always seemed so sad when he cried. He liked her smile a lot more. It made him feel as if everything were alright. As if their friends weren’t all dead.

He slipped quietly into the hideout, brushing straight past Mai, ignoring her questioning of how his outing went. He made a beeline for his room, disappearing inside and shutting the door and locking it with a soft click. He didn’t want to be bothered.

Gentle eyes lifted from the sentence they had been reading, a thick book balanced carefully in a pale hand, their soft plum depths glinting gently with a mixture of relief and worry. “You’re back,” Kaede breathed, marking her place and setting the novel aside. “Did you run into any trouble?”

“...No,” Kokichi responded after a moment, dropping his bag of supplies to the floor with a thump. His knees threatened to give out as he stumbled over to the bedside, dropping down into her open arms with a soft ‘oof’, burying his face in the crook of the blonde girl’s neck, a position that had become familiar to the both of them since they had managed to round up what bit of DICE that was left.

He felt soothed by the way her fingers combed through his hair, her long nails scratching gently at his scalp as she hummed a soothing melody in his ear. Clair de Lune, he recognized offhandedly. She had been trying to teach the melody to him at some point before this whole mess started. He heaved a sigh into her collarbone, squeezing his eyes shut as he fought the urge to wail like a child. “It’s okay,” Kaede murmured softly, as if she had sensed his thoughts. “They’re proud of you, you know? You’ve managed to stay alive, and protect as many of us as you could.”

“But it wasn’t enough,” he breathed. “I wasn’t able to protect them, Kaede. We’d probably all still be alive if I…”

“If you what? If you had charged in there while all that chaos was still going on?” Kaede asked, her tone, while still gentle, having taken on a sharper edge. “Because that would have only gotten the three of you killed, not just the two of them. And then I’d be alone.” The fingers carding through his hair stilled. He could feel her hands trembling as her tears dripped down her cheeks. “I’d be alone, and I’d sit and wonder what I could have done to persuade you to stay.”

Kokichi’s heart clenched as he stared up into her eyes, his own hand coming up to rest on her cheek. “...Kaede, I’m sorry,” he whispered, gaining her attention again. “I keep… forgetting that this is just as hard for you as it is for me. You were Shuichi’s best friend, after all.”

“And so were you. Of course you wish you’d gone in sooner, to get at least one of them out.”

“That may be true, but that’s also in the past, Kaede.” Kokichi’s voice had become unnaturally serious now, his eyes no longer carrying their usual playful glint. “He’s not here.  _ You _ are. You are all I have left, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world…” He paused, the words he wished to say sitting heavy in his mouth. “...I  _ love _ you, Kaede. I don’t say it nearly as often as I should, but… I do, I really do.”

A moment of silence passed between them, Kaede staring back at Kokichi with eyes that were wide with surprise. With his issues when it comes to trust, hearing Kokichi utter those three special words was always a treat. Her lips curled into a smile, her eyes squinting as she tipped her head to the side. “And I love you, Kokichi,” she responded, her cheeks tinting a happy shade of pink, as she leaned in to close the distance, connecting their lips in the gentlest of kisses.

They both knew that the guilt would always follow Kokichi like a shroud, a constant storm of “what if?” They both knew that the loss they felt would constantly hang over their heads. But, they had each other, which was always enough to lessen the burden on their shoulders, even just a little. That was the last thought Kokichi had, as his fingers intertwined with Kaede’s between them, shuffling back to lie with her, his eyes slipping shut as he drifted off to get some well-deserved rest.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you enjoyed, please make sure to leave kudos and a comment below! See you next upload!


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